Write if you feel like it

I feel free when I write. I am actually in the mood to write right now. I promise this will be short, really short. Okay I’m done.

Kidding aside, it is not everyday that one like me would write, I don’t know really, may be I just lack the resources or maybe I just don’t know of a topic to write about (why you got any problem with that?).  Ask other writers and they’ll tell you about their muse and stuff. For me, it’s just my mind speaking and my hands typing.

Right now, I don’t really have a topic in mind, I just thought that maybe, when I open this window (blank page and a blinking cursor) loads of thoughts will be shipped right through. However, as I type these words down, words are slowly leaving me… literally (ooh… this is getting really boring).

You may find this as a stupid blog but then again, this is me (what the hell can you do?) this is my blog and it’s my brain you’re reading right now. I’ve been thinking if anyone really thinks I could write well or just plainly if I could write. I don’t find my thoughts interesting (e.g. do ghosts and ghouls get wet if it’s raining?) yes, it sounds weird. So technically speaking, I don’t just entertain myself whenever I write things, I try to get what makes you (my readers) tick, giggle, laugh, feel sexy and whatever. Get my point?

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Someone’s actually singing my fave Chinese song, brings back memories of time long lost and spent. (ye liang dai byaw wo di sing…)

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I don’t wish you to get in my head, just like in Inception, no. (the movie really rocks big time!!) I just wish you’d say your views, negative or positive, about my write-ups. I just want to express myself! Yes, I maybe really too public when it comes to my facebook status messages, but hey girl, this punk wants to write it somewhere, better write it in my wall than I write it in your fuckin’ wall right? I may lack practice and the perfect words to say what I feel but it’s definitely not a reason for me not to try to get back to writing or just simply write. I get my topics from what I feel, what I experienced and from what I observe around me, so yeah if it ruins your day reading my stats, better get me off from your friends list (I don’t freakin’ mind) .

However, one problem I usually experience is my short-term memory (I am not old, it’s just that I’m like that). See? I totally forgot the flow of my thoughts. This why I plan to have a PDA phone with me, since I wanted to write all of my thoughts down in an instant or probably a recorder so that I could simply record what I’m thinking as of the moment (so wth am I telling you that part eh? Phooey.). In anyway, I’ll still be writing down my thoughts running in my mind at the speed of light. I suddenly realize that the longer you prolong your article (leaving it locked up, saved in your laptop) you lose your angst and the rush of wanting to translate your mindlings (I suppose I could make up my own word for thoughts, how many times have I used it in the previous paragraphs??? Don’t count stupid, I didn’t ask you to)  into words. More and more layers of paper thin mindlings get piled up in your head until those at the bottom are decomposed already.  

Yesterday, I was thinking of renting my own place just so I could leave our jam-packed house. Was that an understatement? Oh yeah, sorry about that. So yeah that was yesterday, while just a while ago I wanted to continue my studies and also land a part-time job in a tabloid (anything, even without pay as long as I get trained to become a reporter.) I even thought of finishing all my books as I’ve given up on reading a few months ago.

If you think I’m a boring person, just say so. Because as a matter of fact, I don’t really care if I have readers or not, well I guess I do… but if you already find my stuff boring, you may leave. Simply click on the ‘X’ button on the top right corner of this webpage, if you do not know that is. Last night, I dreamt of a wedding, I was one of the guests along with my high school batch mates. Thing is, what was supposed to be a wonderful dream ended up like a horror story. Nature was calling and believe it or not, the church does not have a bathroom. I was at the verge of peeing my peach silk gown when this sign just in front of me started glowing and blinking the sign ‘bathroom this way.’ I followed the sign surprised to see a two-storey mall (who builds a mall in front of a church??) I never did realize this oddity due to the emergency I was feeling so I went and flushed all my fluids away. The bathroom had so many corridors; everything was colored pink, from the faucet to the tiles, pink. On my way back, I noticed that the entrance and exit were different so I had to find my way to the exit and be back to the church in time for the ‘I dos’ part. However, strangely, the bathroom exit had led me to the second floor of the mall, which to my surprise, was a cemetery. Mist covered the entire floor the usual mist that usually gives you the ‘Hostel’ or ‘The Texas chainsaw massacre’ goose bumps. Moreover, the mall was actually surrounded by a moat, a dark sticky, boiling moat (where did that come from eh?) The only way back to the church was if I ride the sickly boat tied to the concrete post at the far end of the floor. I swear it only took me minutes, but it took me almost two hours in there. I was just in time for the reception, but I missed the ‘I dos’ part. Weird huh? Well, it was only a dream, and dreams are just dreams right? If it were translated to reality what is it then? Could you give me a heads up on such things?

So yeah, you may go back to what you were doing before this (assuming that someone is reading this piece of shi*).  Tough ending huh? I really suck at endings, if I’d write a story about my life, I’ll probably have someone to write it down for me. But yeah, I’d love my life’s ending to be abrupt… or maybe not.